How to Tell Your Children that You are Getting a Divorce

The best way to let your children know that your marriage is ending is for you and your spouse to break the news to them together. This reassures your kids that you and your spouse can cooperate with one another as their parents, that they will still have a family – just a different kind of family – and that you both will remain actively involved in their lives.

Before you tell your children about your divorce plans, you and your spouse should decide what you are going to say to them. Get your story straight so that the two of you don’t convey conflicting messages to your children. You should both agree that when you talk to your children neither of you will blame the other for your breakup nor encourage your children to side with one of you against the other. Putting your kids in the middle of your divorce is unfair to them and can inflict irreparable emotional harm.

Here is some more advice you and your spouse should take to heart before you break the news to your children:

  • Be honest with your children about why you’re getting divorced, but don’t reveal too much
  • Don’t hide the fact that life is going to be different for everyone in the family because of your divorce
  • Be very clear with your children that your divorce has absolutely nothing to do with them
  • When you tell your kids about your divorce, try not to get emotional and remain calm